Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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