Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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