i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
