like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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