I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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