I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
