More tranny stories later!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
