Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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