Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
