And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
