He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
