I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
