trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just googled if crying burns calories
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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