I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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