omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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