In the future we'll all be gay
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
