Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I wish there were birth control emojis
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
