We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
