Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
