I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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