I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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