i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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