mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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