At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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