i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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