remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
