Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
