why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We need to feng shui this bitch.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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