I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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