Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Everything about him screamed your future.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
How naked do you want me to be?
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