discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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