So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You took a bar mat shot.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
