my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
