I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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