You're so nebulous sometimes
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
