I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
