Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
