it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
