He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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