I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize