i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
