It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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