when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
