I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
