There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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