the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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