Dual....:-)
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
