Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize