This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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