I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
