just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize