I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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