And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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