She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I bet he comes in French.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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