He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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