Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
