We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
