absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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