You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
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