addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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