Your tits are I can't wait for
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
