Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
