Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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